Behaviour Speaks Louder Than Words
I work for a charity supporting young people with SEND, so some posts on social media are difficult for me to read — because people often don’t understand the young person’s point of view.
When we see a child acting out, refusing, shouting, or melting down, it’s easy to think they’re being “difficult” or “naughty.”
But the truth is — all behaviour is communication.
Every outburst, every tear, every slammed door is trying to say something.
It might be: “I’m tired.” “I don’t understand.” “This feels unfair.” “I’m scared and don’t know how to tell you.”
For some children — especially those who are neurodivergent — that message comes out louder or messier.
But even for neurotypical children, behaviour is still a signal, not a summary of who they are.
When we start asking “What is this behaviour telling me?” instead of “How do I stop it?” — everything changes.
We begin to see the child behind the chaos. We learn to meet the need instead of fighting the symptom.
And that’s where growth, trust, and connection start to happen.
I’m still on a journey with all this. My son is autistic, and when people say that one person is “more autistic” than another, that’s simply not true. There is no more or less — their brain just works in another way. It has its own operating system.
It’s the environment that needs changing, not the young person.
Every action tells a story — if we stop trying to fix the behaviour and start listening to what it’s saying.
